for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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