My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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