I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
