So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
