it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
