90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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