I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
