I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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