I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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