why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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