i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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