He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
