Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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