The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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