she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
