You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
