we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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