we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
