I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
