I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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