sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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