I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
