we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
