We named our party play list daddy issues
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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