apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i believe in u and ur pee
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