Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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