everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she pinky promised me she was 18
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
