An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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