Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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