something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
