U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
do herpes really smell.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
