dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
