yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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