hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
