Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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