32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
