I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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