Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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