um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
