do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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