AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize