Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
