im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
