I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
