Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
