I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this just has baby written all over it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize