i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
