Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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