that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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