I have demons in me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize