So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
