So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize