i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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