Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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