Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize