We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
