Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
