Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
