i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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