If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
