This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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