I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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