Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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