i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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