please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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