I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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