How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Screwed.edu
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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