i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
