So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Success! We fucked roommates!
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